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hell。
I spent the night of my first full moon with Richard and the pack； waiting to see if I was going to join the killing dance。 I didn't。 Either I'd gotten incredibly lucky or just as a vampire can't catch lycanthropy； neither could I。 Richard wouldn't have much to do with me after that。 I can't blame him。
I still love him。 I think he still loves me。 I love Jean…Claude； too。 But it's not the same kind of love。 I can't explain it； but I miss Richard。 For brief moments in Jean…Claude's arms； I forget。 But I miss Richard。
The fact that we are both bound to Jean…Claude doesn't help。 Richard has accidentally invaded my dreams twice。 Having him that close to me is too painful for words。 Richard fought it； but he finally agreed to let Jean…Claude teach him enough control so that he doesn't leak all over both of us。 He talks to Jean…Claude more than he talks to me。
The triumvirate is useless。 Richard is too angry at me。 Too full of self…loathing。 I don't know how he's doing with the pack。 He's forbidden anyone to speak of pack business with me； but he hasn't chosen a new alpha female。
Willie McCoy and the rest of the vampires I accidentally raised seem fine。 Big relief there。 Monica's baby is due in August。 Her ammo came back clean。 No Vlad syndrome。 She seems to think I'm her friend now。 I'm not； but I help out sometimes。 Jean…Claude is playing the good master and taking care of her and the baby。 Monica keeps talking about me babysitting。 I hope she's kidding。 Auntie Anita； she calls me。 Gag me with a spoon。 Funnier still； is Uncle Jean…Claude。
My dad saw me on television in Jean…Claude's arms。 He called and left a very worried message on my answering machine。 My family are devout Catholics。 There is no such thing as a good vampire to them。
Maybe they're right。 I don't know。 Can I still be the scourge of vampire kind when I'm sleeping with the head bloodsucker？
You bet。
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