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if mothers dont tell their children everything； they hear it in bits and pieces； and that cant be right。
even though its saturday； im not bored！ thats because ive been up in the attic with peter。 i sat there dreaming with my eyes closed； and it was wonderful。
yours； anne
m。 frank
sunday； march 19； 1944
dearest kitty；
yesterday was a very important day for me。 after lunch everything was as usual。 at five i put on the potatoes； and mother gave me some blood sausage to take to peter。
i didnt want to at first； but i finally went。 he wouldnt accept the sausage； and i had the dreadful feel… ing it was still because of that argument wed had about distrust。
suddenly i couldnt bear it a moment longer and my eyes filled with tears。 without another word； i re… turned the platter to mother and went to the bathroom to have a good cry。 afterward i decided to talk things out with peter。 before dinner the four of us were helping him with a crossword puzzle； so i couldnt say anything。 but as we were sitting down to eat； i whispered to him； 〃are you going to practice your shorthand tonight； peter？鈥�
〃no；〃 was his reply。
〃id like to talk to you later on。鈥�
he agreed。
after the dishes were done； i went to his room and asked if hed refused the sausage because of our last quar… rel。 luckily； that wasnt the reason； he just thought it was bad manners to seem so eager。 it had been very hot downstairs and my face was as red as a lobster。 so after taking down some water for margot； i went back up to get a little fresh air。 for the sake of appearances； i first went and stood beside the van daans window before going to peters room。 he was standing on the left side of the open window； so i went over to the right side。 its much easier to talk next to an open window in semidarkness than in broad daylight； and i think peter felt the same way。 we told each other so much； so very much； that i cant repeat it all。 but it felt good； it was the most won… derful evening ive ever had in the annex。 ill give you a brief description of the various subjects we touched on。
first we talked about the quarrels and how i see them in a very different light these days； and then about how weve bee alienated from our parents。 i told peter about mother and father and margot and myself。 at one point he asked； 〃you always give each other a good…night kiss； dont you？鈥�
〃one？ dozens of them。 you dont； do you？鈥�
〃no； ive never really kissed anyone。鈥�
〃not even on your birthday？〃
〃yeah； on my birthday i have。鈥�
we talked about how neither of us really trusts our parents； and how his parents love each other a great deal and wish hed confide in them； but that he doesnt want to。
how i cry my heart out in bed and he goes up to the loft and swears。 how margot and i have only recently gotten to know each other and yet still tell each other very little； since were always together。 we talked about every imaginable thing； about trust； feelings and ourselves。 oh； kitty； he was just as i thought he would be。
then we talked about the year 1942； and how different we were back then； we dont even recognize ourselves from that period。 how we couldnt stand each other at first。
hed thought i was a noisy pest； and id quickly concluded that he was nothing special。
i didnt understand why he didnt flirt with me； but now im glad。 he also mentioned how he often used to retreat to his room。 i said that my noise and exuberance and his silence were two sides of the same coin； and that i also liked peace and quiet but dont have anything for myself alone； except my diary； and that everyone would rather see the back of me； starting with mr。 dussel； and that i dont always want to sit with my parents。 we discussed how glad he is that my parents have children and how glad i am that hes here。
how i now understand his need to withdraw and his relationship to his parents； and how much id like to help him when they argue。
〃but youre always a help to me！〃 he said。
〃how？〃 i asked； greatly surprised。
〃by being cheerful。鈥�
that was the nicest thing he said all evening。 he also told me that he didnt mind my ing to his room the way he used to； in fact； he liked it。 i also told him that all of fathers and mothers pet names were meaningless； that a kiss here and there didnt automatically lead to trust。 we also talked about doing things your own way； the diary； loneliness； the difference between everyones inner and outer selves； my mask； etc。
it was wonderful。 he must have e to love me as a friend； and； for the time being； thats enough。 im so grateful and happy； i cant find the words。 i must apolo… gize； kitty； since my style is not up to my usual standard today。 ive just written whatever came into my head！
i have the feeling that peter and i share a secret。 whenever he looks at me with those eyes； with that smile and that wink； its as if a light goes on inside me。 i hope things will stay like this and that well have many； many more happy hours together。
your grateful and happy anne monday； march 20； 1944
dearest kitty；
this morning peter asked me if id e again one evening。 he swore i wouldnt be disturbing him； and said that where there was room for one； there was room for two。
i said i couldnt see him every evening； since my parents didnt think it was a good idea； but he thought i shouldnt let that bother me。 so i told him id like to e some saturday evening and also asked him if hed let me know when you could see the moon。
〃sure；〃 he said； 〃maybe we can go downstairs and look at the moon from there。〃 i agreed； im not really so scared of burglars。
in the meantime； a shadow has fallen on my happiness。 for a long time ive had the feeling that margot likes peter。 just how much i dont know； but the whole situation is very unpleasant。 now every time i go see peter im hurting her； without meaning to。
the funny thing is that she hardly lets it show。 i know id be insanely jealous； but margot just says i shouldnt feel sorry for her。
〃i think its so awful that youve bee the odd one out；〃 i added。
〃im used to that；〃 she replied； somewhat bitterly。
i dont dare tell peter。 maybe later on； but he and i need to discuss so many other things first。
mother slapped me last night； which i deserved。 i mustnt carry my indifference and contempt for her too far。 in spite of everything； i should try once again to be friendly and keep my remarks to myself！
even pim isnt as nice as he used to be。 hes been trying not to treat me like a child； but now hes much too cold。 well just have to see what es of it！ hes warned me that if i dont do my algebra； i wont get any tutoring after the war。 i could simply wait and see what happens； but id like to start again； provided i get a new book。
thats enough for now。 i do nothing but gaze at peter； and im filled to overflowing！
yours； anne
m。 frank
evidence of margots goodness。 i received this today； march 20； 1944：
anne； yesterday when i said i wasnt jeal… ous of you； i wasnt being entirely honest。
the situation is this： im not jealous of either you or peter。 im just sorry i havent found anyone willi whom to share my thoughts and feelings； and im not likely to in the near future。 but thats why i wish； from the bottom of my heart； that you will both be able to place your trust in each other。 youre already missing out on so much here； things other people take for granted。
on the other hand； im certain id never have gotten as far with peter； because i think id need to feel very close to a person before i could share my thoughts。 id want to have the feeling that he understood me through and through； even if i didnt say much。
for this reason it would have to be someone i felt was intellectually superior to me； and that isnt the case with peter。 but i can imagine your feeling close to him。
so theres no need for you to reproach yourself because you think you te taking something i was entitled to； nothing could be further from the truth。 you and peter have everything to gain by your friendship。
my answer：
dearest margot； your letter was extremely kind； but i still dont feel pletely happy about the situation； and i dont think i ever will。
at the moment； peter and i dont trust each other as much as you seem to think。 its just that when youre standing beside an open window at twthght； you can say more to each other than in bright sunshine。 its also easier to whisper your feelings than to shout them from the rooftops。 i think youve begun to feel a kind of sisterly affection for peter and would like to help him； just as much as i would。 perhaps youll be able to do that someday； though thats not the kind of trust we have in mind。 i believe that trust has to corne from both sides； i also think thats the reason why father and i have never really grown so close。 but lets not talk about it anymore。 if theres anything you still want to discuss； please write； because its easier for me to say what i mean as on paper than face…to…face。 you know how le much i admire you； and only
hope that some of your goodness and fathers goodness will rub off on me； because； in that sense； you two are a lot alike。
yours； anne
wednesday； march 22；1944
dearest kitty；
i received this letter last night from margot：
dear anne； after your letter of yesterday i have the unpleasant feeling that your conscience bothers you whenever you go to peters to work or talk； theres really no reason for that。 in my heart； i know theres someone who deserves t my trust （as i do his）； and i wouldnt be able to tolerate peter in his place。
however； as you wrote； i do think of peter as a kind of brother。 。 。 a younger brother； weve been sending out feelers； and a brotherly and sisterly affection mayor may not develop at some later date； but its certainly not reached that stage yet。 so theres no need for you to feel sorry for me。 now that youve found panionship； enjoy it as much as you can。
in the meantime； things are getting more and more wonderful here。 i think； kitty； that true love may be developing in the annex。 all those jokes about marrying peter if we stayed here long enough werent so silly after all。 not that im thinking of marrying him； mind you。 i dont even know what hell be like when he grows up。 or if well even love each other enough to get married。
im sure now that peter loves me too； i just dont know in what way。 i cant figure out if he wants only a good friend； or if hes attracted to me as a girl or as a sister。
when he said i always helped him when his parents were arguing； i was tremendously happy； it was one step toward making me believe in his friendship。 i asked him yesterday what hed do if there were a dozen annes who kept popping in to see him。
his answer was： 〃if they were all like you； it wouldnt be so bad。〃 hes extremely hospitable； and i think he really likes to see me。 mean… while； hes been working hard at learning french； even studying in bed until ten…fifteen。
oh； when i think back to saturday night； to our words； our voices； i feel satisfied with myself for the very first time； what i mean is； id still say the same and wouldnt
want to change a thing； the way i usually do。 hes so handsome； whether hes smthng or just sitting still。 hes so sweet and good and beautiful。 i think what surprised him most about me was when he discovered that im not at all the superficial； worldly anne i appear to be； but a dreamer； like he is； with just as many troubles！
last night after the dinner dishes； i waited for him to ask me to stay upstairs。 but nothing happened； i went away。 he came downstairs to tell dussel it was time to listen to the radio and hung around the bathroom for a while； but when dussel took too long； he went back upstairs。 he paced up and down his room and went to bed early。
the entire evening i was so restless i kept going to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face。 i read a bit； daydreamed some more； looked at the clock and waited； waited； waited； all the while listening to his foot… steps。 i went to bed early； exhausted。
tonight i have to take a bath； and tomorrow？
tomorrows so far away！
yours； anne
m。 frank
my answer：
dearest margot； i think the best thing is simply to wait and see what happens。 it cant be much longer before peter and i wil